Monday, October 6, 2008

My Sister

Eight years ago today my sister passed away. I can't believe it has been so long ago. It seems like just yesterday! I think about my sister everyday. Today is a day that I seem so remember her the most.

I bought some flowers, so Sunday I went with all my girls to the cemetery to put them on her grave. It is interesting how none of my girls have met Brandee, but they seem to know her. We talk about her a lot and I hope they will know her when they see her again. They always like to hear stories about her.

One of the hardest parts about loosing my sister is thinking about the what could have beens. How we could have done things together with our kids, how she could have been an amazing aunt, and so on and so on. I really believe that she is still really a big part of our lives, I know she would not want to miss out on all the things going on in my life. I have felt her many times. The day Ryleigh Jo was born, I was in labor for over 24 hours and I know that Brandee was having one last little party with her niece before sending her to me! I feel her when we are all together as a family laughing and talking, I know she is there with us. When my brothers have gone to temple I know she is there. I really miss her and wish she was still her to do all the fun sister stuff with me, but if she has to be gone I am glad I can still feel her with us. I know she has been there to protect me many times too.

This is a picture of us in the hospital with my sister when she was fighting her cancer. She was in the hospital for exactly one month. I tried to go visit her every day and I would bring my little brothers with me when I could.
This is a really scary picture of us rocking out before a concert that she dragged me to. I loved going places with her and she always had fun things for us to do. I think we went to a Def Leopard concert!! She also took me to the Phantom of the Opera.


I really miss my sister, but today was just a really hard day! I know it is hard for my whole family. It is something that is just so hard and you never want to have to deal with loosing someone.


8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Annie, I really am so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine how you must feel. I'm sure the day you are reunited will be an amazing one!!

Stacy said...

Hi Annie,
I had no idea you lost a sister. That is so hard for you and your family. Thank goodness for the plan of salvation and the knowledge that we can be together forever some day. I hope you are doing okay during this time of remembrance.
Sincerely,
Stacy

Amy Jo said...

I really do understand how you feel. There really is no way to explain the depths of loss that you feel. It has been 10 years since my sister was killed. Time always helps but you never stop missing and wishing they were here to spend their lives with us. Tomorrow will be better!

Amanda Nielson said...

Annie, I can't imagine the pain you feel, if I were to loose Amy or any of my sisters for that matter I would be so lost. Amy is my rock and my inspiration and I want to be just like her. If I were to loose her my world would just crumble. I admire you, all your strenghth and faith. I know you will see her once again and what a great day it will be! I love it when Amy tells me how you still to this day, stick up for your sisterhood and tell people how it just hurts you to hear when they speak negativly toward their sisters. I love you! And continue to be strong! She is still with you, and you have sisters here on earth right now.

Sarah said...

I wish I would have known her (in this life) I think it's so neat that she is so much a part of you still though. I feel like I know her.

Kresta said...

What amazing pictures. Thank you for sharing them and the memories of your sister. I'm sorry I never got to know her, but I'm thankful for all that you & your family have taught me about her. I can't wait to meet her! Although I am a little worried, because I know from experience how protective sisters can be of their brothers ... she'll probably beat me for each time I'm mean to her little brother! Wait ... you seem okay with me picking on Arch, so maybe Brandee will be okay with it too.

sheila said...

Annie,
These pictures make me so sad, but also happy for you at the same time. You had a great relationship with Brandee. She was fun, but also very responsible and hard working. I'm glad you can look back on these great memories together. I can't imagine how hard this was for you and your family. It was so unexpected and fast. I'm so grateful for your eternal family. I know you will see her again! I'll pray for you!

jaci said...

Annie I found your blog and hope you don't mind me leaving a comment. I was one of the lucky ones I have a lot of fun memories with you and Brandy, and you. Young Womens, and camp were always so much fun. THen we got your mem and the fun just Kept coming. Many nights in Riverside playing night games. I feel lucky to have known Brandy and had so much fun. I love seeing you at dancing each week. You are a great person, and Brandy is lucky to have you for a sister for Ever.